It was one of those afternoons because it had been one of those mornings. The faster I worked the more items were added to the task list. The girls were home from school and homework was not going well. Like me, the girls had too many tasks and not quite enough enthusiasm. I grabbed the camera and said, “I will be right back. Mommy needs to go stand in the light.” For a few minutes I stood in the fall sunshine in my front yard and soaked up the light. When the girls started calling me, I was ready to tackle the afternoon with them.
I was thirty-six or thirty-seven weeks pregnant with my first child, and it was the middle of winter. I was heavy, slow, and weary. As I talked with my spiritual director, I told her how lackluster I felt. She encouraged me to stand in the light. I thought we talking metaphorically or mystically, so I started talking about places in my life where there was light and goodness. She laughed and said, “Yes and no. I mean, Find a spot in your house where the sun shines warmly and stand in it. Do it everyday until this baby is born. Stand in the light.”
Most days, there is enough light in my life. I enjoy friends and family who share the journey with me. I find fulfillment in my roles as minister, mother, writer, and finder of lost things. However, there are days when it feels dark, when it feels like all my roles are filled with obligations. When I feel the darkness seeping in, I remind myself to stand in the light, often literally.
I love the slant of the fall sun. It signals the change of the seasons and the hope of what is to come. Standing in the light reminds me there are more days to come and not all of them will feel darkly overwhelming. I am thankful for my moments standing in the light.
Tammy Abee Blom is an ordained Baptist minister, regular contributor to BWIM’s blog, mother of two amazing daughters, teacher for children’s Sunday School, and lives in Columbia, South Carolina.