In early December, I met two of my ministry friends for lunch at our favorite Thai restaurant. We all arrived late, exhausted from the beginning of Advent and overwhelmed by our schedules and to-do lists in the coming weeks. And we all agreed pretty early on in our conversation that we were skipping Christmas this year. We just needed to survive until Christmas, and then we were going on a cruise. Wouldn’t that be nice?!
Of course, after much laughter, we admitted that the season of Advent and Christmas is one of our favorite times of year. The special services. The lighting of the Advent candles. The music. The hope of God breaking into our world and into our lives. The joy of it all. (Also, the peppermint Milano cookies. Can’t forget those).
But there was a definite tension between our love for this beautiful season of the year and our utter exhaustion from it.
What follows are some of the lessons I learned this year on “how to survive Advent and Christmas.” I might pull these back out when my frazzled friends and I have lunch next Advent, although really they could apply to any time of the year.
Find ways for family and friends to be involved in your work in meaningful ways.
One of the best things that happened this Advent was that my mom visited me for a long weekend in Waco. It was a busy weekend with lots of special events at church, but instead of allowing my work to separate me from time with my family, my mom got to experience it with me. She helped me clean up spilled wax after a meaningful Service of Consolation, we made our favorite Christmas dishes together, she helped me decorate the Fellowship Hall for a Christmas party, and she was there to experience our Service of Music led by the church choir.
Take time to enjoy the season for yourself.
At times, I felt like I was “putting on” Advent and Christmas for everyone else to appreciate and enjoy. The Advent devotions everyone was reading daily, I had already read, edited, or written before Thanksgiving. I was often so focused on the details for different services and events that I didn’t fully participate in them. I finally realized that I would need to be intentional to find my own thoughtful ways to enjoy the season. I tried to end each day by reading or reflecting by the light of the Christmas tree. I enjoyed designing my unique Christmas card and reflecting on my gratitude for friends and family with each envelope I addressed. After every candle had been lit and the Christmas Eve service had begun, I allowed myself to sit back and to soak in the beauty of the service with my beloved church family. And I knew that soon, I would get to more fully relax and enjoy a week of celebration and fun with friends and family back home.
Don’t feel guilty when you can’t do it all. Extend yourself grace and compassion.
There were things on my to-do list that simply didn’t get done before Christmas, and I chose not to allow myself to feel guilty about it. The reality is that you can’t make it to every Christmas party. You can’t give everyone the perfect gift. You can’t make Christmas cookies for everyone. You can’t visit everyone you’d like to see. You can’t do it all. Do your best with the time and resources God has given you, and let that be enough. Enjoy each day as a grace gift.
Spend time with soul friends.
After our respective Christmas Eve services, my ministry friends and I jokingly texted each other that we survived Advent. (I celebrated by stuffing a cheeseburger down my face in the parking lot of the only restaurant in Waco that was open on Christmas Eve as I began my journey home for Christmas). But it wasn’t the joke of “surviving Advent” that helped us make our way through this season; it was our soul friendship. The gift of Advent was sharing with these friends about the ways in which we were each waiting and hoping for God to break into our lives and knowing that we were holding each other in the light through it all. I’m so grateful for friends who will walk alongside me in all the seasons of life…and all the seasons on the church calendar, too.